Thursday, May 15, 2008

My unfortunate pachyderm experience...

I am well enough to post again but unfortunately I still have the dregs of the flu (inflammed sinuses + chronic upper jaw pain). You know what they say about laughter, it's the best medicine.


SCENE: One nice afternoon during a 3-day weekend. Park is full of kids and families enjoying the wonderful outdoors.

LOCATION: Children's Grand Park in Seoul, Korea



Me: Oh look, there are elephants! I have never seen elephants before.

Hubby: You've never seen elephants before?

Billy: I wanna see them but I don't wanna ride them.

ELEPHANT: (Whispering to his pachyderm pal on the left) I see another gullible family approaching us. Watch what I'll do to catch the mom.



Elephant Handler: C'mon feed the elephants, just a buck for a bag of carrots. Get your chance to feed the elephants!

Me: Oooh honey! We can feed the elephants. Lemme get a bag. (Hurries to buy a bag of cut up carrots).

Hubby: (rolls eyes and sighs).

ELEPHANT: Yeah lady, come and see if you can feed us. *Evil grin*



Me: I'm back with the carrots!

Hubby: Here Billy, now don't be afraid to give them the carrot.

Billy: Ok Dad!

ELEPHANT: Wait for it....



Billy: Here you go elephant!

ELEPHANT: Yeah kid give it here... Aaaa CHOO!

ME: (Mouth wide open while framing the shot... Elephant snot flies right in and lands inside the mouth) Acck! GASP, hack, sputter, cough.... (repeat)



Hubby: You okay honey?

Me: (wailing) The elephant sneezed and some of it landed in my mouth!!!!

ELEPHANT: Yes! Got one again



Hubby: (Trying hard not to laugh) You had elephant snot in your mouth???!!

Me: (still wailing and sputtering) Yeah! And it was salty!

Elephant: Told you I was gonna do something to the lady... (High-fives his fellow elephant)



Hubby: (turns away to hide his laughter) Maybe you will turn into a superhero. Remember Spiderman?

Billy: Cool!

Me: (still wailing and tries to scrub tongue with tissue) I've had strange things in my mouth but this is the weirdest!

*Note: Yes, we still bought more bags of carrots to feed the darn elephants. I even touched the trunk of one (no, not the one who sneezed on me). It was like touching a warm rubber hose covered with toothbrush bristles. Yes, I had to put up with elephant jokes for the rest of the day ... and trip from hubby and Billy. Aaargh!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

One more for all the moms out there...

Thanks for sharing this one Glessie (3 years ago)...

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying, "It's okay honey, Mommy's here."

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can't be comforted. This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors. And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me, Mom?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the (grand)mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat. For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year. And then read it again. "Just one more time ."

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

This is for all the step-mothers who raised another woman's child or children, and gave their time, attention, and love... sometimes to tally unappreciated!

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway?

Is it patience?

Compassion?

Broad hips?

The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it in her heart?

Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home?

Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...

And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money, mothers without. This is for you all. For all of us. Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them. And pray.


"Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall."

Happy Mother's day!



Here's a funny and endearing piece on mothers. Again, I am playing hooky from my bed as my hubby and little one go out to Ichon City for some sightseeing and shopping (it's unfair for me to ask them to stay in with me when the day is bright and sunny outside).

So for all mothers out there. Here's a survey that will make you smile.

A Survey on Mothers

Answers given by elementary school-age children to the following questions:


Why do we have mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.



What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. Clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.



Why do you have your Mom and not some other mother?
1. We're related.
2. The doctor knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.



What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.




What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?



Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinkingcap on.




Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.




What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power cuz that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic; they make you feel better without medicine.



What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.



What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.


If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know itwas my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

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